No one goes into a relationship with the tools and knowledge needed to make the many challenges that are to come. There is no ''how to'' book to purchase with step-by-step instructions or even to tell you when to seek help or counseling - but the answers to certain questions can be telling: Do you just continue through the everyday and accept that this is normal? Do you only talk things out with friends and not your spouse? Do you wonder who or where or how things went wrong? Maybe it is time for couples therapy.
The big question is: when do you know it is time to consider marriage counseling? Here are a few signs that your relationship could use couples therapy:
The big question is: when do you know it is time to consider marriage counseling? Here are a few signs that your relationship could use couples therapy:
You fight all the time - If you can't have a conversation without a fight, it's time to learn how to communicate more effectively. All couples have fights from time to time, however, there are healthy and non-healthy ways. Therapy can teach you how to diminish arguments, speak calmly and treat each other with respect.
You feel you are speaking different languages - Suddenly, what you are saying isn't what your partner is hearing and vice versa. Therapy can help you understand the differences in communication styles and teach you to adapt to each other.
When you we're afraid to talk - This can be anything from money to sex to children to annoying habits; because, regardless of the topic, it seems to get blown out of proportion. A therapist can help you to become clear about issues and understand what is truly being talked about.
When you pretend everything is fine - if you ignore important issue or pretend everything is ok, it might be time to consider therapy. a therapist can help you tackle issues head on in safe, manageable ways.
If your sex life has changed significantly - Sex is one of the main reasons couples fight . After being together for a while, it is not unusual for sex to taper off, however a significant change is signal that something is not right. There could be a underlying issue that therapy can help bring to light and work toward resolution.
When you're living separate lives - Couples don't have to do everything together, but if you are more like roommates that a couple, this is indication that something is wrong. Therapy can help you to sort out what is missing and help bring it back together.
If you have different views about finances - Most couples will have some sort of argument about money, one usually likes to spend while one likes to save. This is one of the biggest issues for any marriage and causes the most fights. Couples therapy can help you to understand and compromise your finances.
You're thinking about the affair - Fantasizing about an affair can occur for a number of reasons, but it is usually a sign that something is broken in relationship. If you are tempted to break the wow of marriage, it is better to see counseling with your partner than deal with the consequences later.
When you get more support outside of your relationship than from within - You should't expect your partner to meet your every need; however, if you feel unheard, misunderstood or disrespected, it's time for counseling.
If your partner asks for couples therapy - When your partner asks to go to couples couseling, they are communicating that something wrong.
Couples counseling can be a huge benefit for any relationship, regardless of the severity. No relationship is consistently smooth sailing, problems can arise early on, after a long time of being together, or even from unexpected stresses. Just remember that a relationship is a living thing that need to be nurtured, or it's going to wither and die.
(c) Tammie McKay, LIVINGSAFER (livingsafer.com)
You feel you are speaking different languages - Suddenly, what you are saying isn't what your partner is hearing and vice versa. Therapy can help you understand the differences in communication styles and teach you to adapt to each other.
When you we're afraid to talk - This can be anything from money to sex to children to annoying habits; because, regardless of the topic, it seems to get blown out of proportion. A therapist can help you to become clear about issues and understand what is truly being talked about.
When you pretend everything is fine - if you ignore important issue or pretend everything is ok, it might be time to consider therapy. a therapist can help you tackle issues head on in safe, manageable ways.
If your sex life has changed significantly - Sex is one of the main reasons couples fight . After being together for a while, it is not unusual for sex to taper off, however a significant change is signal that something is not right. There could be a underlying issue that therapy can help bring to light and work toward resolution.
When you're living separate lives - Couples don't have to do everything together, but if you are more like roommates that a couple, this is indication that something is wrong. Therapy can help you to sort out what is missing and help bring it back together.
If you have different views about finances - Most couples will have some sort of argument about money, one usually likes to spend while one likes to save. This is one of the biggest issues for any marriage and causes the most fights. Couples therapy can help you to understand and compromise your finances.
You're thinking about the affair - Fantasizing about an affair can occur for a number of reasons, but it is usually a sign that something is broken in relationship. If you are tempted to break the wow of marriage, it is better to see counseling with your partner than deal with the consequences later.
When you get more support outside of your relationship than from within - You should't expect your partner to meet your every need; however, if you feel unheard, misunderstood or disrespected, it's time for counseling.
If your partner asks for couples therapy - When your partner asks to go to couples couseling, they are communicating that something wrong.
Couples counseling can be a huge benefit for any relationship, regardless of the severity. No relationship is consistently smooth sailing, problems can arise early on, after a long time of being together, or even from unexpected stresses. Just remember that a relationship is a living thing that need to be nurtured, or it's going to wither and die.
(c) Tammie McKay, LIVINGSAFER (livingsafer.com)
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